


Raised By Wolves

by wickedblack



Series: The Wolf [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Boy-Who-Lived, Harry and Teddy are twins, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post Mpreg, Remus is Harry's Mum, Werewolf!Harry, Werewolf!Teddy, toddler!harry, toddler!teddy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-06 23:52:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4241412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedblack/pseuds/wickedblack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus Lupin had the life he had always dreamt for himself. He had a flawless lover and two lovely sons, he had caring parents and an exceptional best-friend. His world came crashing down when, on Samhain, he lost the most precious thing he ever had.</p><p>**ON HIATUS**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Samhain

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I decided to change things a bit and make Harry and Teddy out to be twins. Harry was supposed to be an only child at first but I just love Teddy a lot and I wanted him to be in this story so I figured, why not? I really love the idea of them being twins and it surely will be fun to write. x

 

 

 

***RBW***

 

 

Remus Lupin was roughly awakened by a loud and demanding pounding on the front door. He groaned in annoyance and put his pillow over his head, trying desperately to go back to sleep. His parents would answer the door anyway. He merely prayed that the pounding would not wake Harry and Teddy up. Remus had had a hard enough time getting them to go to bed the night before and he did not wish to go through it again.

 

Remus sighed and gave up trying to go back to sleep when the pounding did not stop. What were his parents doing? Couldn't they just answer the door so that they could all sleep peacefully? He lifted his pillow up to look at the alarm clock on the nightstand where he could read 2:43 AM. It was way too early, or late, to get up. Harry and Teddy had gone to bed just three hours ago and Remus definitely needed more sleep than two and a half hours.

 

“Coming.” He heard his father say quietly, mindful of the others sleeping in the house. Remus thanked Merlin that his father had _finally_ decided to get out of bed and to go answer the door for he wouldn't have been able to stand the pounding a minute further. He wanted to curse whoever had decided to come bother at such an hour of the night. It was really unbecoming.

 

Remus put his head back on the pillow and sighed contentedly. He relished the silence that filled the house as he blocked his father's and the strangers' voices out. He wanted nothing more than to sleep the night through and that was what he intented to do. He listened for a second, looking for any noise coming from Harry and Teddy's bedroom that might indicate that Harry had actually woken up. Remus heard nothing but the boys' steady breathing. The three-year-olds were still sleeping peacefully. He turned around so that he was facing the wall connecting his and the boys' bedroom, a small frown on his scarred face.

 

The twenty-three-year-old man was relieved to hear his father climb up the stairs. It must have not been important for his father to go back to bed so soon, probably a mistake. However, Remus couldn't help the dread that settled in his heart. He didn't know why he felt that way but the feeling just didn't want to go away. He was surprised to hear his father knock twice on his door before opening it, but what surprised Remus the most was the look on his face. He was pale, deadly pale, and looked as though he had just seen a ghost or had heard about a loved one's death. Remus had never seen his father so close to fainting before.

 

“You should come, Remus.” His father said, his voice nothing but a pained whisper.

 

Remus's frown deepened. “What is it?” He asked as he got up from the bed and put his dressing robe on.

 

His father didn't answer, he didn't even look at Remus in the eye. He merely waited by the door for Remus to come with him. Remus had never been so confused in his whole life, except maybe for the day he had realized he would have to live as a werewolf. He caught sight of his father's gaze, which was filled with sadness, pity and resignation, as he walked past him.

 

Remus sighed and went downstairs, it annoyed him greatly that his father wouldn't tell him what was happening but he was probably too shaken up to talk about it which only served to make him even more nervous. He nearly stopped dead in his tracks right in the middle of the stairs when he caught sight of the two aurors standing by the door. They looked way too solemn for it to be a courtesy visit. Something was wrong, and the dread that was slowly taking over Remus's body didn't make things any easier.

 

He took a deep breath, taking comfort in his mother's presence by the door and his father's right behind him. “Remus Lupin?” One of the aurors asked as Remus reached the door. He was short and plump with short dirty blonde hair. His pale skin made his black eyes awfully stand out.

 

“Yes?” Remus answered, trying to ignore his mother's teary eyes.

 

The second auror cleared his throat awkwardly, clearly ill-at-ease. “You should sit down, M. Lupin.” He said, biting the inside of his cheek as he tried to hide his nervousness. “Perhaps we could come in.”

 

Remus took a moment to look at the second auror. He looked familiar, perhaps they had attended Hogwarts at the same time. He was short but lean, with long strawberry blonde hair. His pale and unblemished skin was tainted with light freckles. “Yes, of course. Could you just keep it down, please?”

 

“Of course.” The plump auror replied. Remus nodded absentmindedly as he led the aurors to the living-room, his parents short on their tail. He sat on the couch while the two aurors remained standing in front of him. His parents had stopped on the threshold, allowing their son a bit of privacy.

 

Remus looked up at the aurors expectantly, waiting for them to tell him what had happened. He worried his lower lip as he tried not to think about all the possiblilities. He didn't want to think about what could have happened, his mind would imagine all sorts of horrible things and he would end up crying for something that had probably not happened.

 

The strawberry blonde haired auror cleared his throat once again. “Well, we were sent to investigate on a case earlier tonight, at Godric's Hollow. We found Lily Evans's burnt house, we also found...bones. We managed to identify them and it turned out that they belonged to one Lily Evans and one James Potter.”

 

A nervous laugh escaped Remus's lips. “You're kidding, right?” He expected the aurors to laugh along with him but they did not. Remus's smile turned into a grimace when it finally sank in that they were not kidding at all. “You're not kidding.” He said matter-of-factly.

 

“I'm sorry.” The dirty blonde haired auror said softly.

 

Remus couldn't believe it. James couldn't be dead. He couldn't leave him, Harry and Teddy alone. Remus could feel his wolf howl and thrash in protest and sadness and grief. Remus blinked rapidly, trying to prevent his tears from falling but his fast blinking caused one single tear to run down his cheek and it was all it took. Remus burst out in tears as he let his head fall in his hands, his whole body shaking with heavy sobs. He barely felt his mother's arms wrap themselves around him.

 

James was dead and the last thing Remus had told him was that he hated him. Remus felt guilt and sadness eating him up. It was all his fault. They had had a fight three days ago and Remus wished he could go back in time. They had had a fight over something stupid, they had had a fight because James had been spending more and more time at work and out with Sirius lately and Remus had grown tired of it. He had decided to confront James while Harry and Teddy had been playing outside with Sirius. They both had ended up angry and telling things they didn't mean. Remus then had decided he had had enough of James's pathetic excuses and he had gone to his parents', taking the boys with him.

 

Remus hadn't heard from James since then but Sirius had told him that he had been quite miserable and that he felt really bad about them having a fight. Remus had decided to ignore it all and to not talk to James for a few more days but he actually regretted it now. He wished he and James had never fought. If they hadn't had a fight, then James wouldn't have gone to Lily's and would have stayed at their own home in Godric's Hollow with he and the twins.

 

Remus wished he had never acted like an irrational, stubborn and jealous lover.

 

“Mummy?” A sleepy voice pulled Remus out of his musings.

 

He lifted his head up to look at a three-year-old Harry who was standing by the living-room's door, holding his stuffed stag tightly and rubbing his tired eyes. Remus realized that he had been crying hard and that he couldn't let Harry see him that way and so he quickly turned his back to him. “Go back to bed, Harry.” He said in a shaky voice.

 

“But Mummy-” Harry protested weakly.

 

“Come on, Harry.” Lyall said as he picked Harry up. “We should let Mummy alone for a moment.”

 

“But-” Harry started again.

 

“No buts, he'll join you later, okay?” Lyall offered as he started to walk away.

 

Harry sighed. “Okay.”

 

Remus took a deep breath, relieved that he wouldn't have to face his son now. He didn't know how he would handle things once he would be alone with him. He couldn't just tell Harry and Teddy that their Daddy was gone.

 

“Oh, God.” Remus whispered as it sank in. “I'm going to have to tell Teddy and Harry.” He bit his lower lip to hold back a sob that threatened to make its way out. “I can't tell them that James is gone.” Remus said, looking pleadingly at his mother.

 

“I know but you are going to have to.” His mother said as she ran her fingers through Remus's light brown hair in a soothing motion.

 

A throat was cleared and Remus realized that the aurors were still here and that he had basically broken down in front of them. He felt ashamed of himself for being so weak.

 

“We're sorry for your loss.” The strawberry blonde haired auror said, smiling sympathetically at Remus.

 

“Thank you, I guess?” Remus replied, wiping his cheeks as he tried to compose himself.

 

“We worked with James and we knew about you and little Harry and Teddy so we thought you would want to have that.” The plumper auror said, handing a box over to Remus. “It was in his office, it was hidden so we thought it might be important.”

 

“Thank you.” Remus said as he took the box.

 

The aurors smiled kindly. “We'll leave now.” The leaner auror said and they left without another, Hope showing them to the door.

 

Remus took a shaky breath, willing himself not to cry again. He bit his lower lip hard enough to draw blood and opened the box. The first thing he saw was a folded piece of paper. It looked rather old as though James had kept it for several years. Remus opened it. The first lines looked like they had been written by a child but the further they went, the more recent they seemed. Remus's eyes watered as he read.

 

Things to do before I die (with Remus):

 

**-Become friends with Remus Lupin X**

**-Spend more time with Remus X**

**-Become Remus's best-friend in the whole world X**

**-Become an Animagus to be with Remus X**

**-Visit Remus over the summers X**

**-Tell Sirius that I like Remus X**

**-Kiss Remus X**

**-Buy Remus a chocolate house**

**-Tell Remus that I love him X**

**-Become Remus's soulmate X**

**-Love Remus until the day I die X**

_**-Visit Paris with Remus X** _

_**-Visit Rome with Remus X** _

_**-Visit Greece with Remus**_ _and Harry and Teddy_

_**-Buy a house with Remus X** _

_**-Marry Remus** _

_**-Have children with Remus**_ _(have two but want more)_

_-Spoil Harry, Teddy and Remus rotten X_

_-Leave on a cruise with Remus and the twins_

_-Quit my job to spend more time with Harry, Teddy and Remus, don't need to be an Auror anyway_

_-Give the twins a little sister_

_-Have grandchildren (counting on you boys)_

_-Grow old with Remus_

-NEVER HAVE A FIGHT WITH REMUS AGAIN

 

Remus was a sobbing mess by the time he had finished reading it all. There were so many things James had wanted to do with him and the twins but had not had the occasion to. Remus wanted more time, more time to be with and love James. He felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest.

 

He quickly wipped his tears away and looked through the full box. He found a few pictures; one of James and Sirius laughing, one of Remus and James kissing, one of Remus and Sirius playing chess, one of James, Sirius, Remus, Peter and Lily on their last day at Hogwarts, one of Remus sleeping, one of Remus reading by the fire, one of Remus with a slight baby bump, another of a seven months pregnant Remus, one of James holding baby Harry as Remus held baby Teddy and looked exhausted by the birth, one of a three-weeks-old Harry holding a stuffed stag while Teddy was holding a stuffed wolf, one of Sirius holding a one-year-old Harry and one of James, Remus, Teddy and Harry celebrating the twins' third birthday. He found a few scans of his pregnancy. He found a little wooden wolf which Remus had bought James on their sixth year. There were some of the twins' drawings. The last thing he found was the most surprising though, a little black velvety box. Remus frowned slightly and opened it. A new wave of tears invaded his eyes as his gaze fell on a ring. It was beautiful. It was a simple silver ring with a crescent moon embedded in it.

 

Remus pulled it out and looked at it more closely. He caught sight of an engraving on the inside. He swore he had heard his heart break when he read it.

 

_I love you, Moony._

 

Remus quickly slipped the ring on his left ring finger, relieved to see that it fitted perfectly. He took a deep breath and blinked fastly, willing the tears to go away before closing the box.

 

“Are you okay?” He heard his father ask from the door.

 

Remus looked at him for a moment, wondering whether he should tell the truth or not. His father was no stupid man, he would know that Remus was lying if he said yes. He had merely asked the question to make his presence known. Remus sighed, he knew that he would never be able to be okay but he would have to pretend. For Teddy and Harry. Perhaps one day the excruciating pain would reduce to a dull ache and Remus would learn to live with it.

 

Moreover, he had the twins. His sons were his only reason to live now and Remus wouldn't let them down. He had no doubt about what he would have done if they hadn't been born. But they were there and they needed Remus. They would need him even more once they heard about their daddy's passing. Remus didn't know when he would tell Harry and Teddy yet but he knew that the sooner, the better. They would probably ask for James in the morning as they had done for the past three days anyway and Remus knew that he wouldn't be able to lie to his sons.

 

Remus sighed and shook his head. “I don't think I'll ever be.” He admitted softly. “Is Harry sleeping?”

 

“Not yet.” Lyall replied.

 

“Go back to bed, we'll take care of Harry.” Hope said as she appeared behind her husband.

 

“No, it's okay. I think I need to be with he and Teddy right now.” Remus said, swallowing the lump that was slowly forming in his throat.

 

He got up from the couch, hugging the box to his chest. He wasn't ready to let it go just now. It was all he had left of James right now. He walked past his parents without a word, not even allowing them to take him in their arms. He knew that if either his mother or his father were to hug him, Remus would just break down once again and he didn't want that. He was going to see Harry and he needed to be strong for that.

 

Remus took a deep breath before opening the twins' door. He couldn't help the teary smile that made its way on his face. Harry was sitting in bed, playing with his stuffed stag, waiting for Remus to come up while Teddy was still sound asleep. He wrinkled his little nose as his glasses started to slip down. He pushed them up in one swift move. Remus knew Harry's eyesight would improve once he experienced his first shift in a few months but he had insisted on him wearing glasses anyway.

 

Remus still got amazed at how much Harry looked like James. Their likeness made Remus's heart ache right now. He ached for his mate. He ached for James.

 

“You not sad 'nymore, Mummy?” Harry whispered, mindful of his sleeping twin, as he looked up at Remus.

 

“I'm okay, Sweetheart.” Remus whispered back, a soft smile on his lips.

 

“Good.” Harry sighed and kissed Remus's cheek as the man sat down on the bed. “Wha' is it, Mummy?” Harry asked, pointing at the box in Remus's arms.

 

“Nothing, just some old stuff I need to put away.” Remus kissed his son's forehead, taking great comfort in his presence. “How about you sleep with Mummy tonight?”

 

“Really?” Harry asked, his eyes shining with happiness and excitement. Remus nodded. “Yay!” The little boy cheered, ripping a small chuckle out of Remus. “Is Teddy comin' too?”

 

I think we should let him sleep. Don't want to wake him up, right?” Remus said, getting a nod of agreement from Harry.

 

The three-year-old jumped into Remus's arms, mindful of the box, with his stuffed stag in a deadly grip.

 

“M'sleepy, Mummy.” Harry mumbled as Remus lied him down on his own bed beforing slidding in himself. “I said Gran'pa I was no' ti'ed 'cause I wan'ed to wai' fo' you.”

 

“You didn't have to wait for me, Baby.” Remus said as he let Harry climb half on him and rest his head on his chest.

 

Harry shrugged slightly. “Men we' meanies 'cause they made you cry, Mummy.” Harry mumbled, his eyelids already heavy with sleep.

 

“It was not their fault, Sweetheart.” Remus said as he ran his fingers through Harry's messy black hair.

 

“Wan' Daddy t' be 'ere.” Harry mumbled before falling into a deep slumber.

 

“Me too, Baby, me too.” Remus replied absentmindedly as he buried his nose into Harry's mop of hair.

 

Remus tried to think about what he would tell Harry and Teddy in the morning but nothing came up. His mind was blank. But he couldn't tell the twins that their Daddy was gone, just like that, right? That was when it really sank in. James was gone. _Forever_. He was never coming back. Remus would never get to hear him talk and laugh, to look into his beautiful hazel eyes, to feel his lips on his own, and his arms around him. He had lost his mate forever.

 

Remus couldn't stand it anymore. He couldn't be strong anymore and he thanked Merlin that Harry was already asleep. Remus took a deep breath, relishing his son's scent which was so much like James's, and broke down. He wept, heavy sobs shaking his whole body and soul, fat tears running down his cheeks and falling into Harry's hair. He had lost the love of his life. He was alone now. He didn't want to live in a world where James was not.

 

 

***RBW***

 

 

 


	2. New Pack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, you guys might want to read the first chapter once again as I changed a few things. Harry and Teddy are now twins. Enjoy. xx

 

 

 

***RBW***

 

 

Remus groaned as he felt someone shake him awake. He didn't want to wake up just yet, his head was pounding and all he wanted to do was sleep the headache through.

 

“Mummy, wake up.” He heard a small voice say.

 

“Go back to sleep.” Remus mumbled. He didn't dare say any name because, in his sleep induced mind, he couldn't tell whether it was Harry or Teddy. Shame bloomed in his chest at the realization, he couldn't tell his own sons appart. Well, he usually could but he should also be able to do so when he was sleepy.

 

He heard the ruffle of a hand moving and he guessed that it was to push glasses up. Harry then. Remus heard his son get off the bed and pad carefully to the door before he heard the door being shut. Remus sighed and turned, trying to go back to sleep, his parents would take care of the twins for the little time he would still be sleeping.

 

Remus frowned in his sleep and he heard his door open once again but this time there were two sets of feet walking up to his bed. “I don't think this is a good idea.” He heard Teddy whine. “Harry.”

 

Remus had to hold back a chuckle, of course Harry would drag Teddy in whatever mischief he had yet again planned to cause. The two might be twins but they were extremely different, personalitywise. While Harry had inherited James's personality, Teddy had inherited Remus's. Harry was a mischevious little prankster while Teddy was much calmer. He enjoyed pulling a prank on Sirius or Remus from time to time but he liked his quiet time, just like Remus did. Teddy was much quieter even though he was the younger one, he was born twelve minutes after Harry, and Remus was quite grateful for it. He wouldn't have been able to handle two little James's.

 

“Come on. It'll be funny.” Harry whispered to Teddy.

 

All things considered, Remus realized that he actually would have liked it better if Harry had _not_ been like James. He could be even worse than James had been at Hogwarts when he wanted to, and he was only three years old. Remus didn't even want to imagine what it would be like when the little Devil would reach the age of eleven. What saddened him the most though was that he always managed to drag Teddy along. The younger one trusted him more than anyone else and always went along blindly, trusting his older twin to keep him safe and make wise decisions, no matter that Harry's decisions always got them into trouble. Remus found Teddy's behavior endearing, the way he leaned on his older twin that way but he wished he would be able to make his own decisions but well, he guessed that he would be able to so with time.

 

Remus feigned sleep when he felt the mattress dip and both twins climb up the bed. “What if Mummy gets mad?” Teddy asked in a ushered voice when both he and Harry were standing over Remus and Remus had a hard time holding back a fond smile.

 

“He won't.” Harry replied. “On the count of three. One... Two...”

 

Remus didn't give them time to do whatever they had planned and grabbed them both, ripping surprised squeals out of them, before pressing them to his chest and pulling the bedclothes back over them. Teddy's smaller frame was pressed directly to his chest while Harry was pressed to Teddy's chest.

 

“Mummy.” Harry whined, giggling at the same time.

 

“M'sleepy.” Remus mumbled keeping his eyes closed, relishing the way Teddy snuggled into his chest, probably still sleepy himself. Remus felt bad about not getting up to take care of his sons but he was just too tired to do so and his head still hurt badly. He honestly wouldn't mind going back to sleep just like Teddy had done.

 

It had only taken the smaller twin two seconds to go back to sleep, proof that Harry had actually woken him up and forced him to come along. Remus couldn't bring himself to be mad though.

 

“Mummy?” Remus heard Harry whisper.

 

“What is it?” Remus replied, mindful of the sleeping twin.

 

“Is Daddy having breakfast with us today?”

 

Harry's question hit Remus like a ton of bricks. He hadn't expected that. The events from last night had completely slipped his mind, his subconscious had made him forget. He knew where the headache was coming from now. He had spent too much time crying, creating an unbearable headache and forcing his mind to repress the news he had learnt, allowing him to keep his sanity a bit longer.

 

Remus's eyes snapped open, landing on Harry who was staring at him through his glasses, his hazel eyes shining with curiosity. He felt his heart break once again, his wolf clawing at his chest in grief, despair and anger. It was just too much, he didn't want to feel the pain again, he didn't want James to be dead.

 

“Mummy?” Harry asked softly but Remus couldn't hear him, too caught up in trying to forget about the pain and to get his wolf to settle down. It hurt too much to think about James's passing, he wished it was just a silly prank James and Sirius had decided to pull on him, he wished it was nothing more than a silly joke but it was not. He was well and truly alone. James had left him, Harry and Teddy alone. Remus didn't blame him, he would never blame him for dying, that would be preposterous but he couldn't help but feel somewhat betrayed. He didn't even understand why he felt that way.

 

A broken sob escaped Remus's lips and he cried, _hard_ , unable to stop his tears from falling no matter how many times he told himself that he had to stop and take care of Harry and Teddy. His whole body shook with heavy sobs, waking Teddy up in the process.

 

“Mummy?” Both twins asked, their eyes wide with worry and fear.

 

“I'm okay.” Remus sobbed out, trying hard to stop crying. He took a deep breath and tried to think about something else, something that could cheer him up slightly. He had wanted to avoid breaking down in front of the twins above everything else but he had failed miserably. He realized now that his brain repressing the news of James's death wasn't really a good thing, it only hurt more when it all came back.

 

Remus wanted to stop crying but he couldn't and Harry's constant inquiry about what was wrong and Teddy nuzzling his chest in a soothing motion didn't make things any easier. He loved his sons with his whole heart but he wished he was alone right now, just long enough for him to calm down at least.

 

Remus jumped when he heard a soft knock on his bedroom door. He saw Harry perk up, his eyes shining with hope and he couldn't bear the sight. The door opened to reveal Sirius and Remus didn't miss the way Harry's face fell. He lowered his eyes and stared at his tanned hands and Remus had to bite the inside of his cheek to not sob again.

 

“Oh, Remus.” Sirius sighed, his own eyes slightly red, and Remus couldn't help but wonder how he had learnt about James.

 

“Did you cry, Uncle Siri?” Teddy asked.

 

“Why are you sad too?” Harry asked right after his twin.

 

“Harry, why don't you take Teddy and go downstairs? Grandma is waiting for you with breakfast.” Sirius said as he walked closer to the bed. “I need to talk to your Mummy.”

 

Harry nodded dutifully and pulled Teddy along with him as he got out of the bed. Teddy opened his mouth to protest but then seemed to reconsider it and shut his mouth close. “Make Mummy feel better.” Harry said to Sirius as he walked past him.

 

“Please.” Teddy added as he threw one last glance at Remus who tried hard to smile back at them reassuringly.

 

Remus couldn't deny that their behavior was endearing and he almost felt his heart swell with happiness and pride at the way Harry wanted to take care of he and Teddy. He was only three but he was the strongest of them all already.

 

“I will.”

 

Harry nodded once before leaving the room. It was astounding to see how mature he already was. Remus would have never expected such a behavior from his three-year-old son.

 

“How did you know?” Remus whispered, unable to make his voice any louder. He was aware of his tear-stained cheeks and his red-rimmed eyes but he didn't care. He was just happy that he could talk without bursting into tears.

 

“I went there earlier this morning. There were Aurors everywhere.” Sirius said as he sat down on the bed. “I'm so sorry, Remus.”

 

Yet another sob escaped Remus's lips before he was pulled against Sirius's chest. He was allowed to cry on his shoulder as Sirius muttered sweet nothings into his ear and ran his hand through his hair in a soothing motion. “It hurts so much.” Remus sobbed out. “Please, make it stop.”

 

“I know, I know. I'm here.” Sirius whispered as he hugged him tighter.

 

But it wasn't enough. Remus didn't want Sirius to simply hold him. His actions didn't ease the pain one bit and Remus needed the pain to go away. He didn't want to be in pain. He didn't want to feel. He wanted someone to rip his heart out of his chest, surely that would hurt less. He didn't want Sirius to hold him. He wanted James, only James. He _needed_ James, only James.

 

A delighted shriek echoed through the house and Remus felt like it was a knife cutting through his heart. He shouldn't be here, crying and grieving in Sirius's arms. Grieving could wait. He had two wonderful sons waiting for him downstairs.

 

Remus took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself down and pulled away from Sirius's chest. “I need to go downstairs.” He mumbled as he wipped his cheeks dry.

 

“You need to pull yourself together first, you're still crying, Remus.” Remus cursed inwardly as he noticed that even though his sobs had stopped, silent tears were still running down his cheeks. “Harry and Teddy can wait a few minutes.”

 

“No, they can't. They need me.” Remus protested weakly.

 

“Not yet. They are with your parents, they're just fine for now. You can take a little time for yourself, I'm sure they won't mind.”

 

“You don't know that. What if-”Remus gulped soundly. “What if they hate me because I left them alone? What if they hate me because I didn't tell them about James yet? I don't want them to hate me.” Remus said as his cheeks were flooded with fresh tears. No matter how many times he wipped them dry, new tears kept coming.

 

“They won't-”

 

“What if they get taken away as well?” Remus continued, ignoring Sirius completely. “I can't lose them as well. They're all I have left, Sirius. I need to be with them. I-”

 

“Remus, stop.” Sirius cut him off. “You're not making any sense.” He cupped Remus's face with both his hands and forced the werewolf to look at him square in the eye. “No one is going to take the twins away from you and they are not going to hate you. How could they?” A sad chuckle escaped Sirius's lips. “Yes, they need you but you also need time for yourself. What you're going through-” Sirius trailed off and sighed. “I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling. I know that it must hurt really bad but you're strong. You've always been strong, you'll get through it.” Remus opened his mouth to protest but Sirius just kept talking. “I know that it seems impossible right now but I know you, Remus. You're the strongest person I've ever met. And I'm really glad the twins took after you because James was one hell of a wimp.”

 

Remus chuckled wetly which was met by one equally wet chuckle from Sirius. It was only now that Remus noticed Sirius's red, puffy and tear-filled eyes. A wave of guilt washed over him when he realized how selfish he had been. He was not the only one who was mourning James. “I'm sorry.” He whispered, looking down at his hands in shame.

 

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Remus.”

 

“Yes, I do. You lost James too and I'm too selfish to be there for you. You lost your best-friend and I am here, crying and waiting for you to make me feel better while you are hurting as well. I shouldn't be crying. I should be strong enough to comfort you.”

 

“It's okay, I'm okay.” Sirius said. “I don't need comforting right now, you do.” Sirius assured him with a small smile before kissing his forehead.

 

“I don't know what I would do without you.” Remus said as he let his head fall onto Sirius's shoulder. “You're one of a kind, Sirius Black.”

 

Sirius smiled slightly as he moved he and Remus on the bed so that he could lean against the headboard. “Yeah, I get that a lot. I don't know if it's always a compliment though.”

 

It managed to rip a small chuckle out of Remus. He sighed when he realized that Sirius had managed to make him forget about the pain. He was glad. Even though he had only been able to forget for a few seconds, it was relief. Sirius always managed to make him feel better, ever since they were thirteen. Remus had always known he could rely on Sirius and he had just proved him right. “Thank you.” Remus said as he relished the pain-free state he was in, it felt as though Sirius had slipped him a numbing potion.

 

“You're very welcome.” Sirius replied as he kissed the top of Remus's head. They remained silent for some time, just relishing in the way they brought comfort to each other without even trying. “So,” Sirius awkwardly cleared his throat. “When are you going to tell the twins?”

 

Remus took a deep breath to keep the pain from coming back. He needed to keep his thoughts on Sirius's body warmth against him, not on James. “I don't know.” He admitted softly once he felt calm enough to be able to talk. “I know that the sooner, the better but I just can't right now.”

 

“Do you want me to take care of it?” Sirius asked as he ran his fingers through Remus's hair in a soothing motion as though he _felt_ that Remus was on the verge of breaking down once again.

 

“No, I have to do it, I just need a day or two.” Remus sighed. “They just miss him so much already and I know that they're going to be crushed when I tell them they will never be able to see him again. I know I won't be able to handle them both crying today. I noticed the way Harry looked at the door when you knocked. He was expecting James to come in and he looked so sad when he realized it was only you.”

 

“It's okay to wait, I understand. I'll be there for you if you need me when you tell them.” Remus looked up at Sirius and smiled gratefully at him though it was nearly ruined by the sad frown already on his face. “I've got an idea.”

 

Remus's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “You've got an idea? You, Sirius Orion Black, are actually able to have ideas?” Remus said playfully. He needed to lighten the mood somehow, he needed to stop thinking about James.

 

“Yes, I happen to have ideas from time to time, Remus and I'll have you know that they're rather good ones.” Sirius glared at him, it was nothing but playful though.

 

“My bad. Well tell me, oh wisest of us all, what was your idea?” Remus as he pulled away from Sirius to be able to look at him.

 

“Well, you're a werewolf, right?”

 

“Well, duh. Your point being?”

 

“The twins are werewolves as well and they're going to turn really soon. They're going to have to deal with the transformation and well... James so I figured we should move.”

 

“Move?” Remus narrowed his eyes suspiciously. He had an idea where Sirius was going with this and he didn't really like it.

 

“Yeah, move. Remember that pack in Savernake Forest? Maybe it's time to join them. The twins really could use some company, not wizards but other werewolves. It could help them.”

 

“You know how I feel about them, Sirius.” Remus said, biting the inside of his cheek to keep his anxiety from showing. He had met with the Alpha a few times who had even offered him a place in the pack but Remus didn't want to live with other werewolves. They were heartless savages. He didn't want his sons to grow up to become like them.

 

“I know, you've told me a few times but you never actually lived with them, did you?”

 

Remus winced inwardly. Sirius had a point. “No but Dumbledore said-”

 

“Right.” Sirius cut him off. “Dumbledore told you they were heartless savages who couldn't be trusted. Remember how he told you Wolfsbane Potion would make you feel better? Remember how it turned out to be poisonous?”

 

Remus sighed. Sirius was right. Dumbledore was the one who couldn't be trusted. He was nothing but a manipulative old man and Remus wouldn't be surprised if what he told him about _that_ pack was nothing but lies as well. “So what? We just go there and ask for shelter?”

 

“Exactly. They won't be able to refuse us. We've got children.”

 

“I don't know about this, Sirius. I can't risk Harry and Teddy's life.” Remus would have probably trusted Sirius and followed him blindly if it had been only him but he had to think about the twins. He had no idea how things would go once they reached the pack. There was no way he would take his children down a path which could lead to their death.

 

“Of course you can't and I'm not asking you to. Just trust me, please? They'll run no risk.” Remus could see nothing but truth on Sirius's face. “They need it and you need it. _We_ need it.”

 

“You'll stay with us?” Sirius nodded and Remus sighed. “Alright then. I'm trusting you on this, don't make me regret it.”

 

“I won't. Cross my heart and hope to die.” Sirius said as he drew a cross above his heart.

 

Remus snorted. “Where did you learn that saying?”

 

“Lily.” Sirius shrugged carelessly. “How about we go downstairs and tell the twins about our new plans?”

 

Remus nodded once. “Just let me get dressed.”

 

Remus got out of bed and went to the bathroom. He avoided looking at himself in the mirror and went straight to the shower. He probably looked horrible and so he couldn't avoid taking a shower. He needed to look healthy to face Harry and Teddy and so he took a quick shower and put on a simple dark shirt and jeans. He then took a look at his reflection in the mirror and was relieved to notice that he looked like his normal, nearly happy self. The only proof of his previous crying being his still slightly red eyes but surely it would wear off eventually.

 

He went back to his room but it was empty and so he figured Sirius had already joined the twins downstairs. He hurried down the stairs, eager to join them without feeling that excruciating pain in his chest. He stopped on the doorstep leading to the kitchen to look at the scene before him.

 

Sirius was sitting on a chair with Teddy in his arms while Harry was sitting on the edge of the table, his feet swinging off it. “Is Mummy coming down yet?” Teddy asked as he played with Sirius's hair.

 

“He should be here any minute.” Sirius replied.

 

“I'm happy you made him feel better. I was worried.” Harry admitted softly which made a sad smile spread on Remus's face. “Is he going to be okay?”

 

“I'm pretty sure I am.” Remus said as he entered the kitchen.

 

Both Harry and Teddy beamed at him, delighted to see their Mummy up and about. Teddy made grabby hands at Remus, waiting for him to take him from Sirius's arms. Remus happily complied and relished having one of his precious sons in his arms.

 

“Are you okay, Mummy?” Harry asked as he frowned in concern while Teddy nuzzled his neck.

 

Remus sighed. “Yes, I'm just fine.” He replied as he ran his hand through Teddy's black hair, a small smile on his face. The ache was still there but he found out that if he focused enough on Harry or Teddy or Sirius or on anything else, he could almost forget about it.

 

“Your parents went out.” Sirius eventually said as the silence in the room stretched out. “Grocery shopping.”

 

“Shall we leave while they're gone and leave a note?” Remus asked. He didn't feel like saying goodbye to his parents. He could just leave a note, it was not like he wasn't planning on returning anyway.

 

“Your choice.” Sirius replied. “They're your parents, not mine. Thank Merlin because if it had been my parents, I would have left without even leaving a note.”

 

“That's mean.” Harry scolded him, a disapproving look on his face.

 

“Don't even _think_ about judging me, Harry Potter. You don't know my parents.” Sirius told him, his eyes narrowed in defiance.

 

“I don't care. They're your parents, you shouldn't say that.” Harry argued as he held his head high.

 

“What are you talking about? You're three. You have no right to lecture me, you imp. You don't know a thing, you don't even know how to lace your shoes.” Sirius argued.

 

Remus chuckled as he watched on Sirius arguing with his three-year-old son. “I'm not an imp, you dog. And that's not important, Mummy can lace my shoes. I'm three, Mummy takes care of me but you're old and you don't even know how to shave your beard. You've got hair everywhere, that's ugly.”

 

Sirius gasped in shock. “That was low. You're lucky you're three or else I would have beaten the shit out of you, you little devil.” Sirius hissed as he glared daggers at Harry.

 

“I'm not afraid of you. I could beat you up with my eyes closed.” Harry smirked as he jumped down the table before kicking Sirius in the shin.

 

“Remus!” Sirius exclaimed, indignified. “Control your devil. He needs to be bound and gagged.”

 

Remus chuckled. “I'm not getting involved.” He ruffled Harry's hair lovingly. “My little Alpha.”

 

“So much for not getting involved.” Sirius mumbled under his breath.

 

Harry beamed up at him. “Why are we leaving, Mummy?” Teddy asked as he nuzzled Remus's cheek while he played with the hair on the nape of his neck.

 

“Because I figured some vacation would do us good.” Remus smiled down at Teddy as he tried to ignore the pang in his chest.

 

“Where are we going?” Harry asked, making a show of ignoring Sirius as he glared down at him.

 

“We're going to join a pack.” Remus said.

 

“Really?” Harry squealed as he bounced up and down. Harry was always happy to meet new people so it was normal that he was excited right now. He would get to meet new people and they were werewolves. He was the complete opposite of his twin. Teddy was shy and always felt nervous about meeting new people.

 

“Is Daddy coming with us?” Teddy asked, worrying his lower lip.

 

“No, he's not Sweetheart. Not yet.” Sirius replied in Remus's stead. Remus nodded once, silently thanking his friend because he was sure he wouldn't have been able to answer.

 

“Oh.” Both Harry and Teddy sighed at once.

 

“We should leave right now.” Sirius told Remus.

 

“Yeah.” Remus sighed as tore his gaze away from his sons' disappointed faces. "You should go grab your plushies. He said as he put Teddy down. He grabbed a notepad which was on the counter and a pen as the twins ran off to their bedroom.

 

 

_The twins and I left with Sirius. We needed some fresh air and decided to leave for a while. I don't know when we will come back but we will be just fine. Don't bother looking for us, it would be useless. I love you both._

_Remus._

 

 

He left the note on the kitchen table so that it would be the first thing his parents saw when they came home. He turned just in time to see the twins come back. “Looks like we can go.”

 

“But what if Daddy wants to join us? He won't know where we are.” Harry said, his eyes wide with worry.

 

“He will.” Sirius said, his voice strained with concealed sadness. “Come on, little devil.” He said as he picked Harry up before making him sit on his shoulders. “Hold on tight, we're going to Apparate.”

 

“Yay!” Teddy clapped as Remus picked him back up. He loved Apparating while Harry hated it. The slightly older twin was always a bit sick after Apparating.

 

“The edge of the forest?” Remus asked, just to make sure they would land at the same place. Sirius nodded before disappearing.

 

Remus Apparated as well and landed right before a tree. Teddy clapped in delight. Remus turned around to see Sirius rubbing the back of one very pale Harry. “Are you okay, Sweetheart?” Remus asked as he ran a hand through Harry's messy black hair.

 

Harry nodded before burying his face into Sirius's neck. “I hate Apparating.” He complained.

 

“I'm sure you'll get used to it.” Sirius said, a sweet smile on his face.

 

“I'm sure I won't.” Harry argued.

 

Sirius apparently chose to ignore Harry's arguing for once and walked into the forest. Remus followed him closely. He had to admit that he had forgotten where the pack's den was and he was slightly surprised to notice that Sirius seemed to know where he was going. He chose not to question him though. Sirius was the one who had come up with the idea to come here, he must have done some research before, hence why he knew where the den was.

 

“Do you think they will like us, Mummy?” Teddy asked as he resumed his playing with Remus's hair. Teddy seemed to love playing with people's hair and Remus failed to understand why. No matter who was carrying him, Teddy always ended up playing with their hair. Remus couldn't deny that it was endearing, it was a weird habit but endearing nonetheless.

 

“Of course they will.” Remus reassured his insecure son with a small smile on his face. “I'm not sure about Sirius because he's really weird,” Remus managed to rip a giggle out of Teddy. “but I know that they will love you and Harry.”

 

“But what about you?”

 

“I'll make them like me.” Remus smirked darkly.

 

Teddy giggled. “I'm sure they will like you too, Mummy. But if they don't, Harry will kick them and then Daddy will come and he will kick them too until they like you.” A small frown appeared on Teddy's face. “They can't love you though because that's for Daddy only, and Harry and I but that's different.”

 

Remus smiled sadly but chose to keep his mouth shut. He didn't know what he could answer to that anyway. The only thing he knew right now was that pain was blooming in his chest and it hurt.

 

Remus eventually lost track of time. He didn't know how much time they spent walking but his legs began to hurt. Teddy had fell asleep, his head resting on Remus's shoulder while his arms were wrapped around his neck and his legs were wrapped tightly around his waist. Harry was on Sirius's back, his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist while he was happily chatting about anything and everything. Sirius was merely listening to Harry's rambling without ever interrupting him.

 

The forest was getting dark and Remus thanked his keen senses because they would be in complete darkness in two hours. “Maybe we should stop.” Remus suggested.

 

“We're almost there. Don't worry, we'll be there before nightfall.” Sirius assured him.

 

Remus heard a cracking sound and he froze. “Did you hear that?” He asked as he looked frantically around.

 

Three large and muscled men came out from behind some trees before Sirius could answer. They glared threateningly at Remus, Sirius and the twins. Remus understood that they had just reached the limit of the Alpha's territory and that the three men were the guards who were supposed to tear them apart before they could pass the limit.

 

“Please, we've got children.” Remus pleaded. He was tired and he didn't want to argue, or worse fight right now.

 

“This one is not a wolf.” One of the men spat as he sneered at Sirius while another growled threateningly.

 

Harry growled right back, taking everyone aback. His wolf was close to the surface, Remus was not dumb, he knew how to read such reactions. The twins' first shift was not far and Harry's growling was proof that he would grow up to be a powerful Alpha. Very few adult werewolves were as fierce as he was at only three. Teddy's reaction, on the other hand, was proof that he would grow up to be an Omega as he woke slowly because of Harry's growling and hid his face into Remus's neck.

 

“The Alpha is expecting me.” Sirius said. Remus's eyebrows shot up to his hairline in surprise. What did Sirius mean by that? How could the Alpha be expecting him? Their visit was not planned. “I'm Sirius Black.”

 

“How do we know that you're telling the truth? We never met you before, neither has the Alpha.” One of the men said as he narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

 

“I'm his wife's cousin, you dumbass. She knows me.” Sirius said, rolling his eyes. “We just want to see Lucius.”

 

 

 

***RBW***

 

 

 


End file.
